First Day Of My Life
by WP
Summary: WT Set between Entropy and Seeing Red. Fluff.


AN: Ok, song is First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes. I just always thought this song fit in perfectly with the whole situation at the end of entropy so I finally thought of a way to write it. Just some fluff really but i hope you enjoy. I appreciate the feedback, makes me feel all popular with the actually having emails that aren't junk offering me viagra! Thanks.

**First Day of My Life**

This is the first day of my life  
Swear I was born right in the doorway   
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed  
There spreading blankets on the beach

Tara stood in the doorway to Willow's room, the room they'd once shared, and watched the redhead highlighting her book. She knew Willow's study method well, she had even begun to use it - colour coding.

Willow was so intelligent and full of knowledge that Tara, who had been a geek at high school, felt like a brain damaged chimp in comparison. But she was also so completely unaware of her intelligence, her beauty and her power. Tara had wanted nothing more than to show her how great she was since they had met. But she wasn't the best person for the job.

The blonde witch had changed a lot when with Willow but even more when they were apart. Before she was painfully shy, insecure and just disconnected from the world. Then Willow offered her an entire family and a way to do something with her life that was worthwhile. She offered her a life.

Then it all fell apart. But shockingly she was the one who took a stand, who ended it for both their sakes. And it hurt. It hurt so much she thought her heart would just give in but she managed to keep going. She had one aim keeping her going - that Willow would get better, that she'd just be Willow again and she'd still want her. But there were so many things that could ruin that and she ran through every possibility whenever she was alone. It drove her near insanity each and every night until morning would come and give her an escape.

Earlier that day they had coffee at the espresso pump and they both smiled and giggled and felt whole again and she wouldn't have changed any moment of it, even Anya barging in and trying to get them to help her curse Xander. They'd made their coffee last as long as possible but neither wanted to be overtly obvious and when they had parted again Tara felt happy, she was giddy as she almost skipped home to the dorms.

Then she got to her room. She saw the perfectly made bed on which she slept on the left hand side. She saw her sparsely filled wardrobe and one set of books and everything she'd felt, all the happiness and hope was just gone. The worst thing about it was she didn't understand why. She and Willow were talking again, they were hanging out! that was great, it was huge progress but it wasn't enough. They still were ex's just not hateful ex's.

Tara had paced in her room, she'd tried putting on music, TV, reading, studying, anything to try and take her mind off of Willow but to no avail. She eventually grabbed her coat and left the single room that felt so much like a prison.

She hadn't planned on going to the Summers house, she'd just been walking around Sunnydale, the beach, the park and as it got dark she found herself at the bronze. She wasn't there long, just enough time to replay her best and worst memories of her relationship with Willow.

Yours was the first face that I saw  
I think I was blind before I met you  
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been  
But I know where I want to go

As the blonde stood in the door she remembered when the gentlemen had chased her down. She and Willow had ended up in the washing room. It was the first time since she'd got to Sunnydale that she saw something in a person that made her want nothing more than to tear down every wall she'd built up over the years.

She'd first seen Willow at the Wicca group. She saw her red hair out of the corner of her eyes and found herself entranced. She couldn't take her eyes off Willow. She suddenly saw the world differently. It was bright and vibrant when she saw Willow. It was something she'd never noticed before but she had always seen the world as a dull place. Nothing stood out until Willow.

And nothing stood out after Willow.

The second she left the Summers' house all the colour and vitality that Willow gave her was gone. She was a shell and all she could do was pine. Sure, she put up a front with Dawn and even with Buffy but she just couldn't get over it. For the first few days she was angry more than anything but then she got over that and realised that it was more about Willow's lack of knowledge. Willow didn't have a mean bone in her body especially not when it came to those she loved.

So after the anger came the pure agony. She hurt all over but the thing that really got her was the knots in the pit of her stomach. Just constant churning and pulling. She came to the conclusion that it was her soul. It made the most sense because she knew without a doubt that Willow was her soul mate. Maybe that's why she never even considered moving on. She knew no one else would ever be good enough, only Willow and she would wait a thousand lifetimes for that woman.

Willow is the only one.

So I thought I'd let you know  
These things take forever, I especially am slow  
But I realised how I need you  
And I wondered if I could come home

"There's so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides... you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?"

Then came the kissing. Neither of them had any idea how long it lasted. It didn't really matter, it was the meaning that they cared about. The kissing meant there was forgiving and that meant they were together again. They were complete again.

Eventually they pulled apart to look at one another. Tara traced her fingers down the side of Willow's face, reintroducing herself to all of the red heads features. Willow could only look into the blonde's eyes and smile. She hadn't expected this, especially not so soon. They'd had coffee and it was wonderful but she got the impression it'd take a while for them to get back to making out stage.

"I need you to know. it might be weird and... I might find it hard to just... be like I was before but I can't live in that dorm anymore when I know that you're better." Her eyebrows knitted together as she searched deep into Willow's eyes and found a world of strength.

"Will, I love you. You're the most important thing in my life, you're why I'm living and I..."

Willow wiped away Tara's tears with her thumb but left her hands lingering on her cheek in support.

"I need you so much." The blonde said with complete sincerity.

Willow now felt a few of her own tears fall. How could she ever have sacrificed Tara? They both closed the small gap between them as they let their foreheads rest against one another.

"Will you come back to me? Will you come home?"

Tara looked her in the eye and gave a nod. "I am home."


End file.
